What are the signs that it’s time for marriage counseling?
When your relationship is on the rocks It’s difficult to accept – let alone act. It’s possible that you’ll convince yourself that it’s normal. It’s only a matter of time. When your financial situation improves or a stressful situation is resolved, things will improve.
When you’re married or in a long-term relationship, you’re bound to have some disagreements and difficult times. However, how we handle and navigate these events can have a big impact on how effectively you bounce back and get back to being the happy, functional couple you were before.
So, how can you know when it’s time to get help?
Fear of going to counseling
Marriage counseling in White Bear Lake can be a complicated and perplexing experience for many couples. The prospect of disclosing deep personal facts about yourself and your relationship might be intimidating.
It is seen as a significant step. Yes, the scheduling and financial sides of the process require a lot of time and work. It might be tough to persuade a spouse to engage when just one member is interested in obtaining aid.
Although it is better if both partners attend, solo relationship counseling may be just as beneficial if one party isn’t interested.
Separation or divorce may be an option for counseling, and this is often feared more. Relationship counseling may be the key to saving your marriage, as 50% of marriages end in divorce.
If you’re not sure whether counseling is right for you, have a look at the list of common issues below.
You’re having trouble communicating
Do you find yourself constantly bickering or going days without speaking?
Maybe you’re feeling unappreciated or undervalued. Alternatively, you may be unaware of what is going on in your partner’s life and how they are feeling emotionally.
In either case, these are all indicators of a communication failure.
If you believe your communication needs to be improved, obtaining help from a relationship counselor can be quite beneficial. It can assist you in identifying any underlying issues and/or harmful patterns that are interfering with your ability to maintain a good relationship.
Your trust has been broken.
If one of you has had an affair or has been deceitful in any manner, you’re likely to be upset and distrustful of the other. A healthy partnership requires trust. Without it, relationships can become miserable, and if not repaired, they can leave a path of greater harm and suffering.
Learning to trust one another again may be a long and painful journey – and one that is difficult to do on one’s own. Counseling can give a safe space for you to express your vulnerability, process the betrayal, and contemplate how you might repair trust and go ahead.
You feel more like a roommate than a soul mate
It might be difficult to keep the spark alive in a relationship after a long period. You get caught up in your daily to-do list, work, and the kids – and forget to spend meaningful time together. As a result, it’s not uncommon to feel more like a roommate than a soul mate with your partner.
If you’ve felt detached in recent months, scheduling a regular date night or setting aside time for each other can make a significant difference. However, if you’ve been slowly drifting apart or changing in incompatible ways, counseling might help you figure out what’s missing and how to reconnect.
You’re only staying together because of the kids.
While you may be ready to stay in an unhappy relationship for the sake of your children, this can be harmful to their health. Especially if there is a lot of stress and disagreement in the home. Children have a strong sense of intuition and may sense when trouble is looming or when they are unhappy.
A relationship counselor can assist you in determining whether or not your relationship is salvageable. In some cases, it may be healthy for everyone if you live apart. If the relationship moves towards that point, treatment helps with reconciliation and works towards a positive separation.
You’ve gone through a difficult transition or incident in your life.
It can be difficult to maintain a relationship after a severe setback in life, such as the death of a loved one, unemployment, or a health problem. The emotional turbulence can be difficult to deal with, and the pressures may start to pile up on top of each other.
A relationship therapist can help you improve your bond and provide you the tools and techniques you need to go through this tough time together.
You’re about to tie the knot
If you’re going to tie the knot, your mind probably swimming with thoughts about the future. How will we handle our financial situation? Will children have a role in our lives?
Pre-marital counseling allows you to begin talking about everything that matters to you as a married couple.
You’re having problems with your sexuality.
Sex troubles may be both a symptom and a cause of relationship issues. There’s a dramatic reduction in frequency every now and then. In other cases, intimacy has regressed over time, with one or both partners dissatisfied.
It’s natural to experience a sexual rut now and again. However, staying in one isn’t necessarily healthy. It can cause a slew of problems for one or both parties. A relationship counselor can help you better understand your sexual needs and intimate concerns, as well as work toward re-establishing a level of closeness that both you and your partner are comfortable with.
You’ve become a member of a blended family.
Are there any children from a previous relationship between you and your partner? If you answered yes, it might be challenging to work through the boundaries and conflicts that arise when beginning a co-parenting agreement.
You can examine parenting differences, the role of the other parent, and the family’s new identity with the help of a therapist.
Relationship issues with extended family, friends, and/or other people
You’re likely to have relationships with people outside of your relationship as a pair. This could include friends, children, extended family, employees, and supervisors/managers/professors, to name a few.
These connections could be beneficial or harmful. You or your spouse will occasionally feel as though your relationship’s boundaries have been crossed or that toxic individuals are interfering with it. A counselor can assist you in better understanding the problem and developing appropriate boundaries to alleviate any tension, insecurities, or stress that may be affecting the relationship. This could include talking about your feelings about people of the opposite or same sex, how to interact with exes, how you spend time together as a pair, and when it’s OK to be alone.
Finding your path back to a happy and stronger relationship isn’t always straightforward. However, if both parties care about each other, are willing to compromise, and are willing to adapt, a new and often deeper relationship can emerge.
Do you Require Marriage Counselling in White Bear Lake?
If you’re in need of White Bear Lake marriage counseling, give North Woods Christian Counselling a call for a free 15-minute consultation to explore your issue and see if she can assist. Call us right now at 651-243-2484 or schedule a free consultation online.
North Woods Christian Counseling is a licensed psychotherapist, marriage and relationship counselor, clinical supervisor, training consultant, and marriage counseling in White Bear Lake in the state of Minnesota. Since 2010, North Woods Christian Counseling has aided individuals and couples in overcoming life’s challenges, setting new objectives, and improving relationships.