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Seeking Marriage Counseling: When It’s Time To Do It & How To Choose

You have invested a lot of time and effort into your marriage because you wanted to make it work. Yet, lately, you might be feeling that it isn’t working very well and that both you and your spouse are, well, a bit unhappy. This does not mean that you should immediately get a divorce because a good marriage takes work and we all hit rough patches. It does, however, mean that you might need some help working things out. Here is something that might help you strengthen and improve your marriage.

When spouses hit a rough patch, they often don’t know what to do to improve the situation. Over time, they just give up and start doing, well, nothing at all. That, however, can take a great toll on their relationship and it might even lead to splitting up.

Since I am certain that you don’t want to split up before trying everything you can to save the relationship, there’s also no doubt in my mind that you will think about getting help. And, this time, I am referring to professional help. Fortunately for everyone, there are experts out there who have specialized in helping people resolve their relationship issues.

In case you could not have guessed it, I am talking about the idea of visiting a marriage counselor. You could benefit greatly from talking to a professional, and I am sure you understand that. So, why not do it right away?

Here are some signs that you’re ready for counseling:

To answer the question above, you are not doing this right away because you are still not sure that it is the right move for you and your spouse. To be even more precise, you don’t know whether getting marriage counseling services is worth it, or if you should just wait things out and let the problems resolve themselves. Well, it is time for you to find out when you should start seeking marriage counseling.

When Is It Time To Start Seeking Marriage Counseling?

Before I start talking about some of the signs that clearly indicate you need marriage counseling, let me make one thing clear. We are all different, meaning that this decision could be right for different people at different points in their lives and their relationships. So, in short, it is up to you to decide if you want to do this and if you feel that you should, there’s no point in hesitating since you know best just how strong your marriage is and how much it can take before falling apart.

That being said, there are some common signs that you should be on the lookout for if you’re not sure that you and your spouse need counseling. These signs will help you take that final step towards getting help. And, the best part is, that can lead to your marriage being saved. So, let’s have a look at some of the signs.


  1. Indifference

We all argue from time to time, and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, that can be a sign of a healthy relationship. On the other hand, when you and your partner become so indifferent that you don’t even feel like arguing anymore, then it might be time to visit a trusted counselor and get things sorted out. If you find that you don’t care about each other’s feelings too much and that you would rather stay silent and bury certain issues than talk them over, do yourself a favor and start thinking about counseling.

  1. Constant Negative Communication

As mentioned above, we all argue from time to time. You should not, however, use this as an excuse to justify constant negative communication and try to explain it as if it were something completely normal in a relationship. In short, if every single one of your conversations leads to tensions and arguments, you should definitely see a counselor.

  1. Lack Of Intimacy

Lack of intimacy should be a clear sign that something is wrong. Sure, I am talking about sex here, to a certain extent, but keep in mind that sex isn’t the only form of intimacy that you and your partner should share in a marriage. Honest conversations about one’s feelings are also an important part of a relationship. So, if you’re struggling with either physical or psychological intimacy or both, you should definitely see a counselor.

  1. Dishonesty

When I mention dishonesty in a marriage, people usually always assume that I am talking about being unfaithful to one another. Well, that’s one part of it. Yet, spouses can be dishonest about other things as well, such as finances and similar things. In general, if you’re noticing that you two are being dishonest to each other on different levels, visiting a professional could do you good. If you go to, you’ll read about some more important signs that you need couple therapy.

How To Choose The Right Counselor?

If you’ve decided to take this important step and do something good for your marriage, then there’s just one thing left to do. In short, you need to find the right counselor, and that won’t be easy. Of course, you’ll definitely make the perfect choice if you take your time to research different professionals, check their qualifications, their levels of experience, as well as their reputation. So, don’t choose randomly. Do the research instead.

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