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Divorcing a Narcissist – Things You Should Know

Divorce is never easy. It takes a toll on every individual’s mental, emotional, physical, and financial health. However, the divorce process can be more traumatic if the spouse is a narcissist. Narcissists are very competitive. They do not like to lose. Hence, it is better to contact attorneys in Knoxville, TN, who will know exactly what to expect from a narcissist spouse. Their support and guidance will help as they can force a narcissist to show their true nature in court. 

While it is possible to divorce a narcissist on your terms, you definitely will want to seek legal advice before starting the divorce procedure.

Divorcing a narcissist – What should you expect?

  • A narcissist cannot simply get over it. Even if they are the ones who have initiated the divorce, or they have a new significant other or a baby, or just are living the life of Riley, you will always be a reminder of something in their life that failed. The narcissist will only tolerate this failure by punishing you for destroying your image. Post that, the litigation is sure to go on and on and on.
  • When divorcing narcissists, the spouse is sure to use the kids as pawns. They will hurt you by obstructing your relationship with the kids. They will put up the impression of being a good parent and make you bad. These minor parenting snafus will be conflated with child abuse and neglect allegations. Narcissists fail to recognize that children suffer a lot if they are forced to take sides. This way, the efforts to co-parent amicably will fail. 
  • Narcissists are very fond of dramas. They have this relentless need for attention and the “do anything to win” philosophy. This will mean that it will end up in a highly conflicting divorce. Divorces are of many types, and some of the classics of a high conflict divorce are cyber-bullying, bad-mouthing, threats, turning molehills to mountains, interfering with visitation times, etc. Narcissists put the entire blame on you constantly. Their “grandiosity” prevents them from owning their part in the problems. The whole fault of ruining the marriage, screwing up the children, and making them lifeless than perfect will come on you. You are and will always be the wrong person.
  • Narcissists do not have conflict resolution skills. For resolving conflicts, it is essential to recognize the basic rights of the people and that each one of them has their point of view, and there are multiple ways to solve a problem. The primary quality that narcissists lack is self-awareness. And that is the reason this mediation fails in them. 

Divorcing a narcissist – Tips

According to a Knoxville divorce attorney, conventional divorce wisdom cannot be applied to a divorce with a narcissist. This can make things worse. This is because a narcissist fails to recognize their boundaries and rights, and the advice of compromising will turn them into a doormat for them. So, the below-mentioned tips will help you survive the divorce with a narcissist. 

  • Avoid defending yourself. All a narcissist loves is to get into arguments, and if you defend your personhood or unfit parenting, it will only invite more attacks. When communicating with a narcissist, stick to the facts instead of justifying your position.
  • Maintain enough boundaries with them. Narcissists tend to steamroll on others for getting what they want. Hence, you have to be vigilant and enforce your limitations. Always refer to court orders, never respond to the texts and emails immediately, and do not allow your ex to interfere when visiting your children. Knoxville divorce lawyers are always here to help you out for further assistance.
  • Tell your children your side of the story too. However, be very careful about what you speak. Don’t tell your children the kind of nightmare your ex is. But, it would help if you always made them aware of the facts. Also, when speaking, keep the emotional charge out of your voice. If they have any problems or concerns, ask them to come and talk to you directly without getting the ex involved.
  • Do not take the personal comments your ex tells about you. Narcissists tend to project their flaws on others, so there is no need to get wounded. Instead, ignore and keep going on with your daily routine.
  • Do not listen to friends and family. They will always mean well, but they will never understand what you have been through or feel from within. So, if you think that you do not want to talk about it with them on your divorce topic, politely decline them saying that you do not wish to discuss the same.

Divorcing a narcissist – Tools

  • Hire divorce attorney Knoxville TN. They have all the strategies to deal with a narcissist. Ask your divorce lawyers in Knoxville, TN, how they will be settling your case with the ex who just wants to engage in a perpetual battle and run up the legal fees. Family law attorneys exacerbate the conflicts; divorce lawyers, on the other hand, have the correct response to every allegation, generate all the necessary paperwork, and advise you if any problem arises.
  • Make sure to document each and everything. Often, narcissists tend to lie; hence you have to be very careful and keep a record of all the things and make copies of the important ones. You never know when these documents will come in handy in court. Judges dislike being deceived, and if you want to expose your ex’s lies to the judge, these documents can come in handy as solid proof.
  • Have a drama-free communication style. It can get tempting to throw sarcastic comebacks at your ex’s comments, respond with anger or get defensive. But, always remind yourself your ex wants to exaggerate the battle and make you the bad one. So, instead of reacting with rage, try to disengage yourself from the information that needs to be exchanged. 
  • Always practice self-care. Divorcing a narcissist can take a significant toll on your emotional health. Hence, you must take care of yourself and eat, sleep and socialize regularly. In case you face any issues, get the proper medication and therapy.

The bottom line

Divorcing a narcissist can take a significant toll on your overall health. However, you have to know that this phase shall pass soon. Practicing self-care and developing boundaries are essential. Refrain from talking to your narcissist ex and spend time doing things you like and hanging out with friends. This way, you can refresh your mind and enjoy the good in your life.

Suppose you are dealing with a narcissist in your divorce. In that case, contact attorneys in Knoxville, TN. The divorce lawyers have all the tips and tricks of dealing with a narcissist and minimizing conflicts. For scheduling your initial attorney consultation, give them a call today!

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Volunteer Law is committed to safeguarding our clients’ interests and we value personal and family relationships over the bottom line. We work with our clients to create and implement a legal strategy that focuses on their concerns without breaking the bank.

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